Signs You’re Losing the Spark in Your Relationship

Signs You’re Losing the Spark in Your Relationship

If you’re Googling “How to rekindle the fire in a relationship” or looking for signs that you’re losing the spark in your relationship, chances are you need to make a change in your life.

I’ve talked to countless couples who complain about losing the “spark” in their relationship. They either say it’s because they’ve “simply grown apart” or because they’ve fallen into a boring routine and don’t know how to get out. This usually occurs after the “honeymoon phase” dies down, which makes couples question if it’s really worth it to stay with each other.

Research has shown that 30-60 percent of married individuals in the United States will have an affair at some point in their relationship. Based on that information, I think it’s important that we examine what causes individuals to lose affection for their partners and if there’s anything we can do to prevent it.

If you’re worried your relationship or marriage is losing its spark, these are the main signs you should be looking out for:

  • You’re spending less time together
    Yes, you might have busy schedules or sometimes need time to yourselves, but spending time with your partner is a key element in staying connected to them. You don’t need to spend a lot of money and go to fancy dinners. Even just sitting down and talking about your day is a good way of sharing your feelings and finding out what goes on in your partner’s head. If your partner is important to you, take time off for each other and do something special.
  • Your conversations seem like a chore
    Have your conversations become more practical and similar to small talk than friendly? Do you no longer want to share everything with your partner and want the same in return from them? Your partner should be your best friend and your partner in crime, so you should consider it a red flag if it no longer feels that way.
  • You’re not being honest
    Are you and your partner keeping things from each other? Communication is extremely important in a healthy relationship and should be one of your top priorities. If you’re not sharing your true emotions and thoughts with your partner, especially when it comes to negative emotions, you should be looking into improving your communication.
  • You’re having more frequent or rough arguments
    Do you feel like most of your interactions are arguments or that most of your conversations end in fights? It’s one thing to have disagreements, but if you inevitably start screaming at each other and throwing around insults, then you’re facing a huge problem. If your arguments are filled with insults, set down some ground rules before the discussion starts. Don’t allow insults, swearing, name-calling, or discussing each other instead of the issue.
  • You’re avoiding solving problems
    If you’ve given up solving problems, it’s a sign that you don’t care about each other enough to try fixing things. Unresolved conflict can make us believe that our love is lost, when actually it’s only buried beneath the anger and grudges. You can’t build a stable house on a faulty foundation, so you shouldn’t expect to have a happy relationship if you don’t spend time fixing your problems.
  • You don’t enjoy spending time with your partner
    Do you enjoy spending time with other people more than you enjoy spending time with your partner? Are you constantly looking forward to visiting your family or hanging out with your friends, instead of looking forward to spending some time with your spouse?
  • You fantasize about a life without your partner
    Do you often think about a happy future without your significant other? The keyword is happy because just thinking about what your life would be like without your partner is completely normal. However, if you often imagine a life in which you’re happy without your partner, then you should try to recognize where these emotions are coming from.
  • You feel lonely
    Loneliness is a huge indicator that something is wrong in your relationship. Do you feel like you’re not being seen or heard by your partner? Is your partner always too busy to spend time with you? If you’re feeling isolated, consider it a red flag.


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